She Does Not Want to-be Unique. Exactly What Must I Carry Out?

She Does Not Want to-be Unique. Exactly What Must I Carry Out?

Reader matter:

we found this woman on ChristianMingle. 2 months into chatting regarding the cellphone, I hid my personal profile and questioned to fly observe this lady. We had a very good time. When I got back, I bought a ticket for 30 days afterwards to see her.

Each week before the journey, she had gotten a huge promotion, therefore I questioned easily could deliver blooms. She mentioned she was enraged for me personally planning to send plants, seeing all of them as “territorial.”

I asked if she watched me as a boyfriend. She said she failed to wish to be unique but she still wished to see me personally. I mentioned i can not carry on because i am acquiring too attached to this lady with this to not end up being exclusive, specially with planning intricate visits. Then she immediately flipped to asking us to be special.

Just what ought I do?

-Chris (Nebraska)

Gina Stewart’s Answer:

Establishing long-distance interactions is very difficult to move when you’ve never ever stayed in alike location from get-go.

Even though you might have had an excellent time collectively, do not get caught up in what I call “The Bachelor” syndrome. That is, happening mini journeys and activities produces an illusion of connection and relationship that’s not made to last for the reason that it’s perhaps not exactly how real-world connections work.

As a result, it’s easy to understand why she could feel both emotionally connected to you and remain scared of exclusive dedication.

You should not place the cart ahead of the pony here, cowboy. It may sound as if you have actually possibility yes, but at this stage, you’ll want to take some time. You will need to carry on getting to know the other person as most useful you’ll be able to for the circumstances.

To avoid expensive routes, timetable a lot of Skype dates, play interactive games in your phone with each other and rent/watch films and programs at exactly the same time.

No counseling or therapy information: This site cannot provide psychotherapy guidance. Your website is supposed just for use by customers in search of basic details interesting with respect to problems folks may deal with as individuals as well as in interactions and relevant topics. Content material isn’t intended to replace or serve as replacement for professional assessment or service. Contained observations and opinions shouldn’t be misunderstood as particular guidance advice.

or here